Saturday, February 03, 2007

Supreme Court Building To Be Painted Black

Washington, D.C. - Recently passed legislation designed to "reflect the disgrace, corruption and racism of the United States Supreme Court as demonstrated by its infamous Bush versus Gore decision which effectively disenfranchised thousands of minority voters and installed George W. Bush in the White House" means that the Supreme Court Building will soon be painted black. This action mirrors the punishment doled out to the Chicago White Sox baseball organization when its name was changed to the Chicago Black Sox after the bribery scandal of 1919 in which a number of players on the team were convicted of fixing the results of the World Series.

This unusual measure to censure the Supreme Court and its justices was quietly placed by Senator Barbara Boxer of California into a routine authorization bill which was then signed by President Bush. Only after the bill was signed into law was this provision noticed. Despite howls of protests from Republicans and the White House, they do not have sufficient votes to rescind this legislation.

Justice Antonin Scalia, who took the lead in deciding the Bush versus Gore case was said to be furious with the upcoming changes to the Supreme Court Building and the message that it sends to the country about the lack of honor and integrity exhibited by the five justices who placed their own partisan interests over those of the country and the Constitution.

In response to Scalia's angry reaction, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said, "I don't know why Scalia, Thomas, and the others are surprised. If they had to install a Republican in the White House couldn't they have at least picked someone who was competent and not so thoroughly corrupt? Whether they like it or not, the Bush presidency belongs to those five justices that appointed him president. The legacy of George W. Bush is the legacy of Justices Scalia, Thomas, O'Connor, Rehnquist and Kennedy. The disaster in Iraq, the bankruptcy of America, the loss of respect in the world. That is their doing and history will not let them walk away from it."

In a related story, Assimilated Press has learned that administration lawyers have been ordered to more closely examine all pending legislation to make sure that the White House does not meet the same fate as the Supreme Court Building.

2 Comments:

Anonymous pinko said...

NY Times, 02/28/07, "Supreme Court Building Not Really Black"

When the Supreme Court was painted earlier this month (Assimilated Press, 02/03/07) the massive columned structure in Washington D.C. took on a rich ebony hue. Americans assumed the formerly pale building had been painted black, but the Times learned today that the paint used was actually not black at all.

"It's special paint that's thermosensitive, so it can change color depending on who's inside the building. We call it 'mood ring' paint" said Milt Ostrowsky, owner of the painting company that performed the work.

As a refresher and for those born after the 1970's fad, mood rings were jewelry filled with a heat-sensitive liquid crystal that changed color depending on the wearer's body temperature. The color of the ring indicated the wearer's state of mind.

Asked why the Supreme Court building now appears black, when the paint itself was not dark, Mr. Ostrowsky explained that for mood rings the color black signified tension and nervousness.

"You have a few reasonable human beings with a grasp of reality who constantly have to to deal with jerks like Scalia, so there's your tension," said Mr. Ostrowsky.

Referring to Justice Antonin Scalia, Ostrowsky said "Scalia must be feeling nervous right now. He was the guy who said that carbon dioxide wasn't air pollution and wanted to know when 'the cataclysm' was coming, very sarcastic-like. Now all the scientists in the world said they're sure global warming is very real and very dangerous. Scalia's probably nervous everyone will remember what an idiot he was."

The painter paused, chose his words carefully and added, "When it comes to changing things to black, Scalia alone could make anyplace somewhere the sun don't shine."

10:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The residence at 1600 Pennsylavnia Av, Washington, DC, aircraft used as Marine 1 & Air Force 1 need to be painted black at once.
Since R B Cheney oozes a foul, fetid, miasma painting sites in which he resides, does his unsavory deeds or vehicles used to transport him isn't necessary.

6:56 PM  

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