Joe Lieberman To Speak At Republican Convention

Washington, D.C. - The Republican Party announced today that Senator Joe Lieberman will be giving the keynote address at their nominating convention in Minneapolis. The theme agreed to by both Lieberman and top Republican officials is "Democrats are bad Americans and must be stopped by any means."

Said Lieberman, "I am thrilled to accept this invitation to speak at the Republican National Convention. Democrats are our enemies and we must not allow one to be elected president. Fortunately, I have been informed by Karl Rove that this is statistically impossible because we now have a cadre of US Attorneys in place along with Justices Roberts, Alito, Scalia, Thomas and Kennedy to ensure that no Democrat will ever be elected president again."