NBC Nightly News Changes Name To GE Corporate Hour

New York, New York - In a long overdue acknowledgment to reality, the General Electric Corporation is changing the name of its signature evening newscast from NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams to the General Electric Corporate Hour with Brian Williams. As the new name suggests, the program will be extended to a full hour. Of course, in keeping with the precedent started when General Electric acquired NBC, only news that financially impacts General Electric will be shown and, as usual, it will be presented from the company's point of view.

In announcing this change, General Electric admitted that its position as a leading defense contractor was crucial in its decision to turn NBC News into a cosponsor of the Iraq war as well as its strong support for the use of torture and the repeal of the Constitution of the United States.

General Electric's Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Jeffrey Immelt said, "We don't let morality or truth get in our way of the only goal that counts, the bottom line. And, quite frankly, war is great for our bottom line."

Commenting on the name change, Immelt then said, "Why should we keep pretending that we are offering a fair and objective newscast every night when anyone with half a brain knows that we are not serving the public but our executive board and shareholders. In fact, the only time we ever think about the public is when we try to convince them to vote against their own interests by electing Republican candidates who are on our payroll. Isn't America a great country?"

In a related development, in place of his standard American flag lapel pin, Brian Williams will now be wearing a lapel pin that prominently displays the General Electric logo in the center of the stars and stripes.