Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Conservative Brains Prone To Misfire

New York, New York - The brains of liberals and conservatives are different. This should not come as a surprise to anyone who has ever tried to have a conversation with a conservative. According to psychologist David Armodio, the part of the brain that helps people change habits, the anterior cingulate cortex, is more responsive in liberals and more sluggish in conservatives.

Professor Armodio administered a computer test to subjects who identified themselves as liberal or conservative. Test subjects also had the option to qualify their political self-identity as "somewhat/slightly" or "very/highly." The computer game was "Go/No Go." When the desired stimulus, a letter M, flashed on the screen the test subjects were to press "Go." When the letter W flashed, the correct choice was "No Go". The test was programmed so that the "Go" choice occurred 400 out of 500 times, lulling the test subjects into a routine of choosing "Go" responses. However, for 100 out of 500 times, the "No Go" stimulus flashed by.

According to Professor Armodio's data, the higher the liberal self-identification, the higher the accuracy in choosing "No Go" over "Go" correctly. Higher liberal self-identification also correlated with stronger electrical brain activity when making these choices. Stronger electrical brain activity indicates more neurons were firing, which means the brains of liberals were used more often and more vigorously than the brains of conservatives taking the same test.

For a scientific truth to be accepted it has to be reproducible, meaning that others with no connection to the prior experiment can get the same results reliably. Since the past 4 years has been a series of choices of "Stay/No Stay" in Iraq, this experiment would appear to be highly reproducible. Despite repeated flashings of danger signals, incongruous data and messages of failure, conservatives keep pressing the "Stay" button. Evidently, they really can't help it, as their brains are not sensitive, nimble or working well enough to react to the stimulus for "No Stay": old news to those of us with highly active, functioning, liberal brains.

Written for Assimilated Press by roving reporter pinko


Anonymous erika said...

Too bad the lizard brains are still setting the agenda with their adoring, defiled, diseased and lazy media whores.

5:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Democrats may have better and more powerful brains but the subspecies of Democrat that roams the halls of congress lacks the balls and spine to do anything with it.

5:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't help but wonder if (a) people whose brains don't work properly become conservatives, or (b) relatively normal people somehow misguidedly become conservatives and then their brains shut down.

I also wonder how we all ended up living through the ancient Chinese curse, "may you live in interesting times". Those of us who have lived through them, that is.


10:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What I can't help but wonder is, with the apparent superior intellect of the liberal mind, anyone can actually state what the core values of liberals are and whether they can be stated in a rational and calm manner. (Hating Bush and Cheney don't count)

12:54 PM  

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