Bush Knows Meaning Of 'Accountability'; Nation Shocked

Washington, D.C. - There is a mood of puzzlement in the U.S. today after President George W. Bush revealed that he understands the concept of "accountability." At a recent speech given at Horace Greeley Elementary School in Chicago, Illinois discussing the No Child Left Behind Act, President Bush said, "Look, I recognize some people don't like accountability. In other words, accountability says if you're failing, we're going to expose that and expect you to change. Accountability also says that when you're succeeding you'll get plenty of praise."

Many people in the nation were stunned to find out that the President knows
what 'accountability' means.

Tucker Yap, communications specialist at Worldwide Talking Forum (WTF) explained, "This, after all, is the man who awarded the Congressional Medal of Freedom to people who conspicuously screwed up, who told the head of FEMA he was doing a 'heckuva job' while people were dying, and who couldn't admit to ever making a mistake. This is the same president who publicly vowed to fire anyone in his administration connected in any way to leaking the name of CIA agent Valarie Plame Wilson to the press but then refused to discuss the leak, never fired anyone connected with the leak and pardoned the one guy found to be guilty of trying to cover up the leak. This is the president who said that he doesn't pay attention to abysmally low poll numbers, but then refers to 'plenty of praise' as an indication that someone is doing a good job. This is the man who refuses to alter direction for any reason in Iraq, the man who blames the media when the news is bad, now standing up in front of a crowd of people and saying that failure should be exposed and followed by change."

Asked his own reaction to the knowledge that the president does understand, at least at some level, the concept of "accountability", Mr. Yap said, "My wife finally drove me to a hearing specialist because all day long I kept saying "What?? What!! What????!!!!!"

Written for Assimilated Press by roving reporter pinko