Senator Reid's Offer To Switch Parties Rejected By Republicans

Washington, D.C. - The Republican Party today officially rejected Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's offer to switch parties and become a Republican. This rare offer by a leading member of the opposition party came after Reid told friends that "In my heart, I am a Republican. Every principle that is dear to me is a Republican Party principle. I believe in corporate power over the American citizens. I believe in torturing prisoners and I believe in judges who are far right ideologues with predetermined agendas. What I don't believe in is the Constitution of the United States, and that, my friends, makes me a Republican through and through."

Unfortunately for Senator Reid, Vice President Dick Cheney rejected his offer by saying, "He can do us more good as majority leader than he ever could as just another Republican senator."

Sources from inside Senator Reid's office tell Assimilated Press that the majority leader is disappointed but that he will respect Vice President Cheney's wishes.