Friday, June 05, 2009

Dick Cheney and Sarah Palin spotted in local eatery

Davis, CA - Former vice president Dick Cheney and Alaskan governor Sarah Palin were spotted today at the Applebee's restaurant in Davis, California. Though they were seated in a corner booth for privacy, patrons at local tables were able to overhear parts of their discussion which was reputed to be very animated. 

According to nearby diners, Cheney and Palin began to plot the resurrection of the Republican Party over an appetizer of golden fried mozzarella sticks. The two politicians were fired up and Ideas were bandied about with delirious enthusiasm. Should they advocate closing the border with Mexico, introduce national ID cards, reinstitute loyalty oaths, make the pledge of allegiance mandatory for every man, woman and child in the country, allow guns and rifles to be purchased at gas stations and convenience stores for easier access to impulse buyers? 

After a few pomegranate margaritas, their conversation then turned to a favorite topic among many conservatives, the forming of a new alliance of states combining the deep south with Utah and Alaska, a concept which is commonly referred to by its proponents as New America or America 2.0. Apparently, Cheney and Palin were able to agree that the capital of this new sovereign entity would be Burnett, Texas.

Although all indications were that this was a friendly conversation, one awkward moment did occur when Cheney and Palin argued over who would be the leader of New America. By all accounts, it appears that Cheney easily won this dispute but that Palin was mollified by the offer of a very generous per diem. 

Cheney had the quesadilla burger and Palin had the Italian chicken portobello sandwich. Judging from the look on the waitress's face, they did not leave a good tip.