Claiming Manifest Destiny US Demands Saskatchewan From Canada
Washington, D.C. - Dick Cheney, Vice President of the United States and former head of Halliburton, today demanded that the government of Canada cede the province of Saskatchewan to the United States. Cheney gave Canada three days to meet this demand or face the consequences.
With Attorney General Alberto Gonzales at his side, Cheney cited as legal precedent the concept of Manifest Destiny. Said Cheney, "Saskatchewan has lots of energy resources and we need them. Therefore, Saskatchewan belongs to us. End of discussion. If you've got a problem, take it up with God."
Canadian officials were caught off guard by Cheney's demand and have not yet formulated an official response. However, with American military forces massing on the border with Saskatchewan in Montana and North Dakota, Canada's options appeared limited and eventual capitulation is expected.
posted by Virt at 12:01 AM
4 Comments:
Why stop with Saskatchewan? Construction materials costs are soaring. Lets also steal British Columbia and its lumber resources. And the Maritimes have a lot of fish resources. We should demand them as well. Hey! if Canada objects, we'll do to them what Israel is doing to Lebanon: bomb them back to the stone-age.
I hear they got tons of beer too. Lets get that while we're at it. But lets leave the French speakers out of it. Hairy armpits, ewwww!
The New York Times:
The President, on vacation in Crawford, when asked to comment on Vice President Cheney's announcement of Canadian annexation, said "He did? Well, Canada this, Canada that."
Presidential Press Secretary, Tony Snow, speaking to the press shortly afterwards, explained "The President was happy to find out the Vice President had managed to accomplish this vital action so quickly, well before the target date previously set by the President." When asked why America was not pursuing a trade approach to gaining energy resources from Canada, Mr. Snow replied, "Our national security depends on having resources. Anyone who disagrees with securing our borders and securing our future is in league with Hezzbollah."
such racists snobby bitches....
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