Sunday, December 03, 2006

The Onion Picks Up 4 Month Old Assimilated Press Story

New York, New York - Assimilated Press learned today that the Onion has picked up an Assimilated Press story on the banning of evolution in Kansas. The original story from Assimilated Press published almost five months ago can be read here. The more verbose Onion version of the story published last week can be read here.

Assimilated Press takes it as a great accomplishment that with its extremely limited resources it was able to get its star investigative reporter on the scene in Kansas to break the story months before any of its major competitors had it. Assimilated Press will continue to provide this quality coverage of the news so that readers can rest assured that when something is happening that they need to know, they will get the story here first.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Onion is so 2001. For real news, fiery and unbalanced, I become Assimilated!

10:10 PM  
Anonymous pinko said...

It's typical that it was months before the MSM picked up this important story. We in the blogosphere have kept it alive asking "What's happening with evolution and Kansas?" and "What's the deal with mitochondria and Topeka?"

The MSM kept saying "It's old news, no one wants to hear about it." Finally, the MSM woke up, and now even stodgy, establishment outlets like The Onion have now picked up the story. About time!

10:45 PM  
Anonymous enemy of the people said...

You know, yawl, sometimes I have to shake myself really hard and mutter: It's not real.

Glad I'm not one of the lesser life forms who takes himself seriously...

6:03 PM  
Blogger Lwayno said...

Lwayno's Quotes: "I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may tend to insemininate me! Uhr! assimilate me!Uhr! intimidate me!
attributed to your truly "vice" war president, F-You Cheney, during the impeachment hearings at Senate Office building , Jan. 26, 2007

5:44 AM  

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