Uncharted Land Discovered East Of Texas

Austin, Texas - A group of University of Texas college students who got off the beaten track while on their way to an early spring break in Panama City, Florida made a momentous discovery that redefines the boundaries of the United States.

The students stumbled upon a land mass east of Texas, south of Arkansas and west of Mississippi, bordered by the Gulf of Mexico. The area shows signs of having once been inhabited, but also shows evidence of having been under a great deal of water. Archaeologists flown to the site by helicopter detect a once flourishing civilization that they believe was cataclysmically destroyed by a huge flood.

The earliest artifacts uncovered suggest that this ancient civilization was called "Nawlins" by its former inhabitants.

At a press conference, President Bush was asked his opinion on the discovery of Nawlins. "Where?" replied Mr. Bush, "Never heard of it."

Written for Assimilated Press by roving reporter pinko