Thursday, March 01, 2007

Bush Twins To Replace U.S. Attorneys In New Mexico & San Diego

Washington, D.C. - In a surprise move, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has decided to replace two of the U.S. attorneys fired earlier this year for political reasons with the Bush twins, Jenna and Barbara. Jenna will replace the U.S. Attorney in New Mexico, David Iglesias, who was fired at the behest of Senator Pete Domenici and Congresswoman Heather Wilson because he refused to use his office illegally to benefit the Republican Party in the 2006 election despite pressure from both Domenici and Wilson. The other twin, Barbara, will replace US Attorney Carol Lam from San Diego who Karl Rove and Alberto Gonzales decided was much too effective in prosecuting corrupt officials who were overwhelmingly members of the Republican Party.

In announcing this decision, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said, "I am aware that neither of the Bush twins are attorneys or have any experience with the law other than some minor underage drinking violations. However, we view that as a plus. As we have seen in New Mexico and San Diego, too much experience, professionalism and integrity can get in the way of our true mission which is to consolidate power for the Republican Party."

There was no word from either of the twins although a White House spokesperson said they would be available for comment when they returned from a Girls Gone Wild convention in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico sometime in April.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

What? Nothing for Barney, WH pet? There has to be a slot for him somewhere.

11:11 AM  
Anonymous pinko said...

President Bush addressed criticism of the administration's replacement US attorneys.

"We've appointed excellent attorneys", said Mr. Bush, "Real smart guys - Perry Mason, Barnaby Jones, the cast of Boston Legal. And Fred Thompson. He's not only a real lawyer, he plays one on t.v."

11:36 AM  

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