Christians 0, Satan 1

Washington, D.C. - It's 0 for 1 in the battle against Satan and we have a man out.
Lieutenant General William Boykin is retiring.

Boykin said in 2003 that in the war in Iraq "....the enemy is a guy named Satan," which triggered a quick response from Satan who brought a libel suit against the general claiming neither side had sought his services, although he was in negotiations with both Blackpool Security and the CIA. The suit was settled out of court after Boykin admitted he had never actually seen Satan anywhere near the battlefield.

Boykin also described a previous victory over a Somali warlord as inevitable because "I knew my God was bigger than his."

Geraldo Rivera's 2004 effort to measure Boykin's god against that of the Somali warlord's to determine if Boykin's god was bigger ended in disappointment when neither god made an appearance.

Written for Assimilated Press by roving reporter pinko