Washington Post Forever Tied To George W. Bush

Washington, D.C. - Like a gambler that realizes he has lost everything on a bad bet or a drug addict who just realizes that he has shot up some bad heroin, Fred Hiatt and the Washington Post have finally come to the realization that their paper will forever be tied to George W. Bush as a co-conspirator and collaborator as a result of their uncritical and undying loyalty to his policies and the war in Iraq.

Despite some recent efforts to try to distance themselves, their connection to the Bush administration in the mind of the public remains fixed leaving a sense of doom and foreboding that permeates the Post's editorial offices.

Said Hiatt, "We knew that Bush was lazy, ignorant, stubborn, mean, and resentful of democratic institutions, but never in our wildest imaginations did we think that he could do so much damage to the country in such little time. We bet on the wrong horse and we rode him for far too long. Now, it's too late to get off and our reputation is going to be flushed down the toilet along with the fecal matter that is Bush's legacy."

There was, however, one dissenting voice concerning the calamity done to the Post's reputation. Columnist David Broder, still showing undying obedience to his commander-in-chief, said "People have been misunderestimating Bush for years. He is perfectly positioned to take the initiative, reclaim the publics adoration and win a third term. All it will take is another national emergency and a little more help from the Supreme Court."