Monday, August 06, 2007

New Orleans & Bush: A Sinking Relationship?

New Orleans, Louisiana - With the second anniversary of Hurricane Katrina only weeks away rumor has it that all is not happy between New Orleans and President Bush. According to friends, New Orleans is jealous of the attention Bush has spent recently on Minneapolis.

"It's all well and good for him to phone and say he'll be late for a visit," sniffed Ray Nagin, mayor of New Orleans. "I know he's a busy man. I think I have been more than understanding of that, he has a whole war to run. But, somehow, even though he can't find the time to show up here he manages to find the time to go up to Minnesota and see that Minneapolis. Well, as far as I'm concerned, he can stay there, for all I care."

Mr. Bush, who was seen in the past few days in Minnesota where he was photographed in an outdoor area, does not deny he visited Minneapolis. "My relationship with Minneapolis is strictly professional," said Mr. Bush through a spokesman.

"Despite everything, New Orleans is still a vibrant, fun city," said Mayor Nagin. "This city has a lot of good parts left. New Orleans is going to let the good times roll and we don't give a damn where George W. Bush chooses to spend his weekends."

Lawyers for New Orleans assert that the funds and help pledged to the city have not been distributed, that FEMA supplied unfit living quarters in the form of toxic trailers, that significant parts of the city's infrastructure have not been rebuilt, and that restoration contracts went to large national firms under a no-bid process instead of to local firms as had been promised.

"New Orleans has good reason to be upset," said a prominent attorney. "Promises were made in a very public manner and now two years have gone by and those promises haven't been kept. This is supposed to be a long-term relationship not a one night stand. It's terrible the way Bush has treated New Orleans, and New Orleans has to have some pride. If Bush can find an extra $250 million in his pocket to spend on a nice, new sparkly bridge for Minneapolis then he'd better expect New Orleans to go after him for everything he's got."

Written for Assimilated Press by roving reporter pinko


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very cute! Hope New Orleans takes him for all he's got!

3:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what happened to the daily question? that's my favorite part.

3:33 PM  

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