Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Chris Matthews No Longer Swooning Over W

New York, New York - Chris Matthews love affair with George W. Bush is over. The MSNBC host of Hardball today publicly declared that his fawning infatuation with the President has ended and that he was wrong to invest so much emotionally in this troubled relationship. Said Matthews, "You know, when I saw him strutting on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln wearing that glorious codpiece I just lost my mind. He looked so forceful, so manly, so in charge. Hell, at that moment, I would have left my wife if Bush asked me to."

Unfortunately, many great love affairs are doomed to end in acrimony and failure. It was true with Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter, Laura Bush and Dick Cheney, Joe Lieberman and Barbara Bush, and now it is so with Chris Matthews and the man he longingly referred to as "my commander-in-chief."

Said Matthews, "It was a classic abusive relationship. I gave him my unquestioning loyalty and forgave him every time he lied to me. Fortunately, the new love of my life, Rudy Giuliani, stepped in to rescue me before I debased myself any further. Rudy is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and he also happens to look great in an evening gown."


Anonymous HaroldX said...

Matthews will support the Republican nominee for president no matter who it is. That's what GE wants and that's what GE will get.

11:46 AM  
Anonymous pinko said...

Rudy does look rather fetching in a frock. Some have said that Rudy dressing as a woman will harm his chances of being president.
I disagree; George Washington wore a wig, and he was a damn fine president.

Hoover wore a dress, and it didn't affect his ability to persecute Martin Luther King, Jr.

4:58 PM  

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