Bush Throws Tantrum & Bites Off Rove's Ear

Washington, D.C. - All of Washington is abuzz tonight over the news that President Bush, in a fit of pique over his declining poll numbers, attacked his long time political mastermind, Karl Rove, and bit off his right ear. Apparently, Bush was still smarting over the loss of Congress to the Democrats and all of the investigations that have resulted.

Witnesses tell Assimilated Press that Bush angrily confronted Rove and blamed him for not stopping more Blacks and Native Americans from going to the polls. Rove responded by saying, "But Mr. President, Alberto and I along with the Justice Department and most of the US Attorneys did all we could. We purged thousands of legitimate Democratic voters from the lists of registered voters and intimidated thousands more. There was nothing else we could have done except to station the National Guard at the voting precincts to prevent minorities from casting their ballots and we would have done that but most of them were in Iraq."

It was then that Bush jumped on Rove and tore off his ear with his canine teeth. Three Secret Service agents also suffered minor puncture wounds when they pulled the president off of his political adviser.

One White House aide, speaking anonymously to avoid retribution, said "I've never seen the President this angry before. He's snarling and spitting at everyone. The only person who scares us more is Vice President Cheney.

Rove had a tetanus shot and went back to work later in the day.