Pentagon Divorces Republican Party After Iraq Disaster

Washington, D.C. - Numerous high ranking officials at the Pentagon have told Assimilated Press that the American military has ended its close affiliation with the Republican Party in what amounts to an acrimonious divorce. These sources angrily stated that the entire civilian leadership of the Bush administration has abused the trust of America's fighting men and women and mislead the nation into a quagmire that has severely tarnished the image and fighting capacity of the American military for generations to come.

General Pete 'Crusty' Armstrong was one of the few officials willing to risk his career by speaking on the record. He said, "Our affiliation with the Republicans has been disastrous. They have led us to ruin and sorrow. They have destroyed our reputation and, in the end, blamed us for their terrible judgment and mistakes. When we, in the Pentagon, made the strategic decision to join forces with the Republican Party, we thought it would make the country stronger and safer. Man, we could not have been more wrong. We should have joined with the Democrats or at least stayed neutral. The only thing the Republicans have done is waste thousands of lives and billions of dollars. Sure, Halliburton and Exxon Mobil come out of this in great shape. It's our troops who are suffering and what for? So Iran can pick up the pieces of Iraq and Bush can pretend that he isn't the same coward who was AWOL during the Vietnam War. We were fools for thinking that the Republican Party was our natural ally and now we are paying the price for our mistake."

The White House has refused numerous requests to comment on this report.