Bush's US Attorneys Involved In Massive Criminal Conspiracy

Washington, D.C. - US Attorneys who preserved their jobs by following the political diktats of President Bush, Karl Rove, and Alberto Gonzales and thus escaped the purge at the Justice Department are now starting to lawyer up in anticipation of being charged with multiple felonies. Sources inside the Justice Department are telling Assimilated Press that there is a sense of doom and panic among the US Attorneys who are now starting to realize that they should have placed loyalty to the Constitution over loyalty to George W. Bush and the Republican Party.

These developments come on the heels of growing evidence that shows that virtually all serving US Attorneys are guilty of conspiratorial actions that were aimed at interfering with the rights of Blacks and other minorities to vote. Specifically, these US Attorneys are accused of using intimidation and bogus fraud investigations for the sole purpose of preventing minority citizens who are overwhelmingly Democratic from voting. These actions are a clear violation of multiple civil rights acts and the 15th Amendment. US Attorneys who are used to harassing Democratic voters may now find themselves facing hard time in federal penitentiaries.

Said one US Attorney who wished to remain anonymous, "We were just being loyal Bushies and doing what Karl Rove, Alberto Gonzales and the President instructed us to do. We were told to do everything we could to prevent Blacks and other minorities from voting. We knew we wouldn't be touched as long as the Republicans controlled Congress. Unfortunately for us, that all changed in November and now our crimes against the Constitution and the country are being exposed. It isn't fair. All we wanted was our paychecks and job security. Who cares if thousands of Black citizens are kept from voting, certainly not the President, Karl Rove and Alberto Gonzales. Why should we US Attorneys take the fall. We were only following orders and being good Republicans."