D.C. Court Of Appeals Declares Constitution Null & Void

Washington, D.C. - Judges hand selected by former Attorney General Ed Meese today officially declared that the Constitution of the United States is null and void and that from this date on legal decisions will be made by decrees which will emanate from a three judge panel in Washington, D.C. In addition, they announced that Democrats, minorities and proponents of civil liberties will be excluded from any input in the formulation of these governing decrees since the Washington, D.C. Court of Appeals has revoked their rights of citizenship effective immediately. In keeping with this decision, the aforementioned groups will be required to surrender their passports within the next thirty days.

Leading this radical change from a constitutional government of laws to an authoritarian one-party state ruled by decree are right-wing judges and Republican stalwarts, Laurence Silberman, David Sentelle and Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. Working in tandem with Karl Rove, Dick Cheney and George W. Bush, they have decided unilaterally that the Republican Party would be better served by a Soviet style system rather than a Jeffersonian democracy. The three judge panel that will rule by decree is, of course, composed of Silberman, Sentelle, and Scalia.

Remarking on the change in government from a democracy to authoritarian rule, Judges Silberman, Sentelle and Scalia released the following statement, "Democracy is a flawed governing policy that empowered our political opponents and hindered the ability of the Republican Party to take complete and unfettered control of the levers of power and decision making in America. Today, we have corrected this mistake that was made by our Founding Fathers by replacing their inefficient and much too inclusive form of government with one where decisions are made quickly without any messy input from ordinary citizens who only slow down the process and get in our way."