Saturday, March 24, 2007

Bambi's Mother Killed By Khalid Shaikh Mohammed

Washington, D.C. - The CIA today stated that Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the al Qaeda mastermind, has confessed to several more major national crimes. Previously, while being repeatedly waterboarded at a secret CIA prison, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed had confessed to 31 different plots, amounting to almost all terrorist activity against the United States since 1990. Among his confessions was the admission of plotting the destruction of a company that was formed in 2006. Since K.S. Mohammed has been in CIA custody since 2003, these 2006 plots demonstrate the utmost in fiendish cunning.

Today, after after another round of waterboarding, K.S. Mohammed added to his catalog of crimes by confessing to complicity in the new Medicare Prescription Drug Law, inflated housing prices in San Francisco, the introduction of hemorrhoids to America, and most shocking of all, the killing of Bambi's mother.

Written for Assimilated Press by roving reporter pinko

2 Comments:

Anonymous HaroldX said...

Wow! Fox News is going to be all over this.

9:36 PM  
Blogger Lilith said...

It's been widely believed by the FBI that Khalid Shaikh Mohammed is aka Divine Brown, the transvestite Hugh Grant was arrested for indecent behavior with, thus leading to the break up of Hugh Grant and Elizabeth Hurley.

Is there no end to the sheer evil Mohammed is guilty of? Clearly he needs to be round-kicked into space by Chuck Norris.

12:04 AM  

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