Citing National Security Bush Revokes Ned Lamont's Citizenship

Washington, D. C. - Ned Lamont of Connecticut was informed today that President Bush has revoked his citizenship through the use of an executive order. This action was taken shortly after Lamont defeated Senator Joe Lieberman in the Connecticut Democratic Primary and it has the immediate effect of disqualifying Lamont from the general election in November since all members of the senate are required by the Constitution to be citizens of the United States. As a consequence of this sudden vacancy on the ballot, incumbent Senator Joe Lieberman, by default, will be declared the official candidate of the Democratic party.

White House sources said President Bush took this extraordinary action only after it became clear that the Democratic voters of Connecticut has severely compromised the security of the nation with their support of the outsider Lamont. Speaking to reporters as he left for his summer vacation in Crawford, Texas, Bush said "Votin' is an awesome responsibility and it's got to be done right. If it's not done right, it's done wrong, and that's not right." Bush then explained how a vote for Lamont is really a vote in support of terrorists everywhere and that it was important for him, as commander in chief, to make sure that Democrats did not continue to harm the safety and security of the country with recklessly cast votes that provide aid and comfort to the enemies of America.

Senator Lieberman, appearing on the Fox News program Hannity & Colmes said, "I am deeply gratified to be on the ballot as the Democratic nominee and I plan to continue working closely with President Bush and the Republican party to protect America from misguided Democratic voters who are out to destroy America." Lieberman then went on to thank Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Karl Rove and Dick Cheney for their support.