Reid & Pelosi Named Republicans Of The Year

Washington, D.C. - Today, in a ceremony at the Heritage Foundation, the Republican Party officially expressed their gratitude to their two favorite politicians in Washington, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, by naming them "Republicans of the Year."

In presenting the award, President George W. Bush said, "You know, when the Democrats first took over Congress I was kind of concerned. But hell, they've serviced me even better than the Republican Congresses did. They gave me even more money for war, which of course went mostly to my two favorite charities, Halliburton and the Carlyle Group. They didn't enforce their subpoenas and they didn't hold me or any of my staff and agencies accountable in any way. They even ended up supporting my policies of torture. Hell, this is the best God damn congress any Unitary Executive could ever hope for. And that's not all. Every single time I said 'boo' they wet their pants and folded like an obedient cowering dog. And last but not least, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi showed that they are true Republicans when they and their follow Democrats took fistfuls of cash from the telecommunications companies in exchange for granting them amnesty for their crimes against the American people. Along those same lines, they are also to be congratulated for their willingness to take bribes from a few transnational corporations in return for letting these corporations write the new so-called patent reform law. That is true republicanism, benefiting the wealthy few against the interests of the general public and I congratulate the Majority Leader and Speaker of the House for showing that greed and corruption truly is a bipartisan affair in Washington."

Unfortunately, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi were unable to attend the awards ceremony because of a previous engagement at Morton's Steak House where they were scheduled to pick up their weekly checks from various lobbyists and transnational corporations. Joining them at Morton's were Senators Jay Rockefeller and Patrick Leahy who were there to receive bonus checks for their work on telecom amnesty and "patent reform" which is also known as the "Screw the Inventor and Small Business in Order to Enrich Transnational Corporations Bill."