Bush Repeals Emancipation Proclamation & 15th Amendment

Washington, D.C. - In the latest move by the Republican Party to prevent Black voters from participating in elections, President Bush today announced that he had repealed both the Emancipation Proclamation and the Fifteenth Amendment by signing an executive order that had been authored by his chief political adviser, Karl Rove. The repeal is slated to take effect shortly before the 2008 presidential and congressional elections.

Speaking about his latest plan to prevent minorities from casting their votes, Karl Rove said "The Republican Party has long been opposed to allowing Blacks and other minorities to vote. In the past we have put in place obstacles and used intimidation to prevent large numbers of them from voting. With this executive order we have removed a major problem to our goal of a permanent Republican majority."

After Rove spoke, President Bush then added his own comment by saying, "America was created by God with the idea bein' that only white landowners would be able to vote. If that's what God and the Foundin' Fathers wanted, then that's what we are going to have."

Weighing in on the issue several hours later, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia said, "What the President stated earlier today is a fact. The doctrine of Original Intent, which I strongly believe in, states that only white landowners can vote. That is why I stopped the recount in the Florida 2000 presidential election. I wasn't about to let a few thousand Black voters decide who the next president of the United States was going to be. That decision had to be in the hands of a rich white landowner like me."

Sources inside the White House have told Assimilated Press that the next group of citizens to be disenfranchised will be women when Bush repeals the Nineteenth Amendment .